Many of the tips below will not only help in break-up situations, but also if someone else is stalking and threatening you. If you are unsure how best to proceed, a women's counselling centre can help you plan how to protect yourself.  

A specialist counselling centre that provides advice on domestic violence, for example, can help you weigh up how to protect yourself in a violent or problematic relationship, or how to plan a safe separation. If the person threatening you has been physically violent in the past or you are scared of this person, these are alarm signals you should pay close attention to.

If you are looking for a new flat, a new job or want to find out about assistance available, such as on this website, use a secure device. This can be the computer of a trusted person or, for example, a computer which can be used by members of the public. Make sure you delete your search history after to protect your private data. Many websites that provide information for people affected by violence have what is called an "emergency exit". This is a button that immediately opens a non-suspicious page when it is clicked on. If you are worried that someone might unexpectedly be looking over your shoulder during your research, check where this button is located on the website in question beforehand. The original website will still appear in the browser history and must be deleted manually.

There may be good reasons why you don't want to – or can't – secure your devices and accounts (for the time being). Another option is to set up a parallel infrastructure in secret: Buying a new smartphone and setting it up with a new Google account or Apple ID, a new SIM card, a new email address and new accounts for digital services ranging from banking to social media. Although this costs money and is time-consuming, it allows you to protect your digital security without potential stalkers finding out about it.

This option also makes sense if you still need to stay in touch with your ex to organise visiting rights for your joint children, for example. You can then use the old device with the old number solely for that person, and the new one for everything else.

If you are planning to move home, flee to a women's shelter or stay with a friend for the time being: Make sure your location data is protected. The safest way to do this is to keep your smartphone in a signal-blocking pouch. These are small bags with metal in the fabric that shields the device. The pouch must be tightly sealed around the smartphone so that it can no longer establish a connection. Nobody can call you, no data can be transmitted via the internet, and nobody can see your location. Only take the device out again once you are in a place that does not provide any information about your current place of residence, and only check your device for spy apps and other digital tracking and surveillance options once you are there.

Also make sure that no trackers have been planted on you. You may ask someone you trust to look for them together with you