What can I do?
It is always important to:
Keep calm and seek support. You don't have to go it alone. There are ways to take action against this kind of behaviour.
You are not to blame for what happened to you
You may feel ashamed, or blame yourself for sending someone a picture they have now forwarded to a chat group, for example. It is not wrong that you placed your trust in someone, but that the person concerned is abusing your trust!
Other people may not necessarily understand how you are feeling, and may advise you to stop using the internet. But that cannot be the solution. You have just as much right to digital participation as anyone else. Talk to people you trust, or contact a counselling centre in your vicinity.
Keeping records
If you have found pictures or videos of yourself in a chat room or on the internet, the first thing to do is to document everything thoroughly. Take screenshots showing who uploaded or distributed the recordings/pictures, and when and where it happened. If you don't want to look at the recordings/pictures yourself, ask someone you trust to help you document them. You can find out how to document well here.
Contact the website operators
Website operators are under the obligation to remove any pictures that have been uploaded against the will of the person depicted.
You should always save evidence and keep records of the websites by taking screenshots before you have the images or videos erased. This is important if you decide to press charges or take other legal action. Without evidence, the police cannot investigate, and the court cannot take action against the offender.
Images and videos can be reported with various platforms, such as Facebook and X, but also YouPorn and Pornhub. Unfortunately, the response times can often be lengthy, and sometimes the content is not erased at all.Here you can find information on how to report content on various networks.
Claiming your rights
If you know who is sharing (or wants to share) the images: ask the person to delete all publications immediately, and also to remove the data from any data carriers. This is your right. You may seek the support of a lawyer to do so.
There are many ways to take legal action against the person distributing images of you without your consent. There are also options for taking legal measures against platforms if they do not erase your images promptly, for example. More information on legal measures is available on this subpage.
Making redistribution more difficult
The bad news first: technically speaking, there is no way of permanently removing an image or video posted on the internet, or of preventing it from reappearing somewhere else in the future. This is very distressing. A specialist counselling centre can help you to deal with the experience and come to terms with it.
There are, however, ways to at least minimise redistribution. Aid organisations run services that prevent redistribution on certain digital services.
If you or the person depicted were of legal age when the images were created, you can use the "Stop NCII" service.
If you or the person depicted were a minor when the images were created, use "Take it down".
You can submit photos to both services, which generate digital fingerprints, and subsequently store them. Don't worry: the images themselves will not be uploaded. If someone tries to upload one of your pictures to the platforms involved, it will be checked by a software. If this returns the same digital fingerprint as an image that has been reported via Stop NCII or Take it down, the upload will be prevented. This only works with fully identical images.
Dealing with distressing feelings
It is a terrible feeling when you lose control of your own images and don’t know who has seen or might see them.
For some people talking to others such as friends and people who have experienced the same thing can prove helpful.
At the Anna Nackt Organisation you can talk to other people affected by image-based sexualised violence.
For some people, it helps to talk to a counsellor and expert on (sexualised) violence and look for possible courses of action together. You should bear in mind that this form of violence can involve victim blaming, and that there will be people who say that it is your fault.
BUT: that is not true. It is always the fault and responsibility of the person who shared the images against your will.
In the following article, the author deals with this very sense of shame and victim blaming, and also tells us what helped her: What it did to me when my nude photos were leaked (Rebecca Baden).
You don't have to deal with what you have experienced alone: it is always a relief to talk to others and feel less isolated. You can get help and support at women's counselling centres, which can give you detailed advice. The counsellors there will listen to you, support you during crises and work with you to map the next steps you could take. Many counselling centres offer special advice on digital forms of violence. You can find a list of counselling centres here.